Sunday, February 1, 2009

Very soon...

I'll be teaching Religious School for the first time. I'm pretty sure these kids know more about being Jewish than I do, but I have something they don't -- lesson plans and a teacher's guide. I'll get the best of them.

Ryan is in NOLA. So the house is a complete mess and I've been keeping weird hours. This is how it always goes when he's gone. It's like if I don't have anyone to take care of, why bother taking care of myself?

Eh, depressing.

Speaking of -- apparently I'm all dark and twisty (yes like Mer on Grey's Anatomy, I stole the phrase) because my 25 Things I finally managed to do on Facebook depressed some passersby.

What do you think?

1. I am kind of obsessed with paper.
2. I hate wearing black 99 percent of the time. In fact, I probably wear green twice as much as I wear black. OK, maybe three times as much. Four?
3. I don't like talking on the phone, but will do it in extreme situations.
4. There's a 50 percent chance I didn't listen to your voicemail before returning your phone call. Unless you're Marissa, and then I wouldn't miss it...95 percent of the time.
5. I successfully continuously talked from Colby, Kan., to Lawrence, Kan., when I was 3, thereby earning me the nickname Chatty Cathy.
6. Interestingly enough, I have discovered as I've matured that I really don't like to chat, but only do so when in awkward or too-quiet situations.
7. My face is asymmetrical. When I smile the right side of my face shifts higher. In pictures I always tilt my head to balance it.
8. This "disfigurement" makes me prone to not smile very big, which kind of ruined lots of good wedding photos and video footage of me walking down the aisle. I used to think about this daily. Now it's more like weekly.
9. My "Internet" friends voted my wedding best of 2008 among them.
10. When I was little I couldn't imagine driving a car so I was sure I would die before I was 16.
11. In middle school, when I'd have fleeting moments of depression, I would decide not to kill myself because I didn't want to miss school the next day. (You know, because English class was always so much fun.)
12. I've obviously never really been depressed.
13. I distinctly remember my grandpa turning 66 when I was 6 and thinking "Wow, he's old, and he's not going to live till the inverse of his age (99), so he's going to die soon." From that moment until he died, I felt like I was just waiting for it to happen.
14. Waiting for my grandpa to die (it took almost 19 years by the way) affected my life more than anything else. I worked hard in school so he'd be proud of me before he died. I got married young because I wanted to get married before he died.
15. I've cried thinking about my dog dying before I have kids.
16. I obviously have issues with dying.
17. 80 percent of the people I encounter in my daily life annoy me. I can't help it, and I'm sure I annoy them too.
18. I procrastinate just as bad as Ryan, but his procrastination is my No. 1 pet peeve about him.
19. I've never been able to enjoy something in the moment -- really relish something. As soon as something begins, I want it to be over so something else can begin. I hope this changes when I have kids.
20. When I think about my college GPA, I think I should be making more money.
21. I don't really like eating, but I'll do it when I'm bored and there's nothing else to do. Or if I'm really, REALLY hungry.
22. I wrote a short story about a teenager dying of AIDS when I was 10. I blame this on reading too many adult books at a young age. And all the summers I spent watching Days of Our Lives.
23. I'm terrified of financial failure.
24. My last meal would consist of peanut butter and jelly and Kix with skim milk. And a slice each of cheese pizza from Minsky's, Rudy's and Papa John's.
25. That last one was my attempt at being light-hearted, which I'm clearly not.
At first the feedback was grim, but then my closer friends logged on and had a few chuckles (or so they relayed). It's funny to me that I consider myself a happy person, yet have fairly dark thoughts and have a fairly negative outlook on life. So I guess in some weird inverse way being negative makes me positive? Hrm.

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