So I thought I had enough Hanukkah candles to get me through the week because I vaguely remembered one of the menorahs we got as a gift came with candles. But when I got it out I realized it only came with nine candles (there are nine candles in a menorah, but you actually need 44 candles because you let them burn down every night -- a Jew obviously didn't manufacture our menorah).
Anyway, I only realized this today, so I couldn't buy the candles from the synagogue because it's Shabbat. So my friends tell me that Wal-Mart carries them but not every one. I'm sure almost all of the Wal-Marts and grocers carry them in the KC area in the Jewish food area, but I'm in Arkansas, so I call around...
The first Wal-Mart transfers me to the toy department -- um, OK. I explain that I'm looking for Hanukkah candles. She asks me to repeat a few times and then says she's going to transfer me to furniture. I try to explain that surely hanukkah candles wouldn't be in furniture, and she goes "Sure, that's where we keep all the candles," so I play along.
I get the furniture guy and he starts to ask me for the measurements of the kind of candle I want. (I'm imagining he thinks I want to buy pillar candles or something.) When I explain that these are special candles that would be boxed with Hebrew letters, he seems to get it. He puts me on hold to say that they're out, but they'd have more in a week. You know when Hanukkah is almost over. Great...
I call another Wal-Mart that is near the other synagogue in my area. I tell him what I want. He asks me to repeat about four times and finally says "I don't know what those are" and starts laughing. At this point I'm really pissed off, so I just hang up.
I'm crossing my fingers, because I called Party City and they told me they have many different types of Hanukkah candles. DH is on his way to get them, and if they're just regular candles I'm going to be so pissed.
This has been another edition of "HOW IN THE FECK DO I LIVE HERE?!?!?!"
No, the New York Times isn't normalizing Nazis.
2 weeks ago